Cone Head

Okay, so I know it's been for-freaking-ever since I posted a blog on here. But I'm pretty sure no one reads this anyways so it's okay. But if you do read this then rock on! You have my love.

My life has been fairly boring when it comes to comedic life happenings, so I haven't really had much to add. Over all though, various life changes have happened. Alexis turned three, Ariana is now nine months, and hubby returned from deployment. We have also, as of two days ago, acquired a new cat. But if you tell our apartment complex on us I will cut you. With dull paper. Repeatedly. The way I see it, they can take it out of the rent they jacked up on us.

Side note: I would like to say that $1000 is too much to pay for a two bedroom in this state. Each time I think about it, I imagine them taking wallets, beating them with a led pipe, and then violating them repeatedly in a back alley. Without the courtesy to make sure they are at least unconscious first.

Now that that's out of the way, I'll continue to the mildly funny happenings of late.

Any smart (or at least reasonably average) pet owner knows that the first thing you do when you own a cat, especially a female that will be going into heat and start pissing on every important article of clothing you leave laying around, is to get them fixed. This was promptly done the day after acquiring said cat. The fixing, not the pissing.

She was returned to us as of this afternoon and the results have been entertaining to say the least. After all, there is nothing I enjoy more than a cat with a satalite dish around their head trying to walk around while repeatedly walking into things. And when I say walking into things, I mean the device would catch on something, from which she would immediately reverse directly backwards, and then try again with the same results. She has yet to figure out that backing up will not remove the offending object from her path. It brings to mind someone trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Repeatedly. Maybe even banging it harder and harder each time in an attempt to make it work and yet receiving the same results.

She does of course eventually figure it out, in which case she promptly does the same thing with a different object only a few feet into her progress.

I will say this much though. This cat is fucking smart in some respects. While the dish presents some major difficulties, she has figured out how to use it to her advantage. For one, she has learned that she can use it as a scoop to corner food and effectively lift it to her mouth for easy access. In addition to this, she has learned that it makes her look drastically larger, and likely much like a creature from another planet when it comes to addressing our other two cats, who needless to say have been none too happy with her taking residence with us. In fact, she has effectively scared one of the other cats with her current appearance to the point that he flipped out and preceded to fight his way out the bedroom door, despite my being in the process of closing it which effectively resulted in it being closed ON him.

But the scariness was apparently worth the bruised kidney.