It came like a NINJA!

That's right... it came like a freaking NINJA! Here I was, all unsuspecting, minding my own business and doing my thing, and BAM!

But to truly understand, let me set the scene for you.

Your in-laws have gone out on this beautiful fall day to have lunch with a friend. You have laid one child down for a rest just to have your newborn wake up demanding sustenance. No biggie, you've been anticipating this. So you give her a bottle (freshly pumped and waiting) and before she can manage to pass back out, you lay her in your lap for a change in the hopes of placating her for long enough to snag some much needed rest.


This is when it strikes.

So there I was, having just got her diaper undone and reaching for the butt paste when I notice that she looks as if she may piddle again. Rather than put her diaper completely back on, I prepare for the moment. I hold the front of the diaper up at a 90 degree angle, entirely ready to catch anything that comes.

Or so I thought.
No. I was not going to be lucky enough... nor would I be prepared for the attack I was about to receive.

It came like the wind. Sudden. Silent. No warning what-so-ever. And even if there had been warning, there is simply no way to truly prepare oneself. And then THERE IT WAS!

Only one word can describe it...... projectile.
Yes, I said it. And I mean it. Had nothing been in the way, I'm sure it would have gone at least a good two feet. But I did say I was holding the diaper up, right? So one would think I would walk away from this little attack relatively unscathed. But no.

No, instead it went Ninja on me. And when I say Ninja, I mean it went crouching tiger, hidden dragon.
Even with the diaper posed to serve as a rather impenetrable wall, it somehow managed to sneak-vault OVER the top of the diaper, before dropping into an angle that would otherwise defy the laws of physics to make an entirely horizontal shot at my chest. It was like I was a target, and the goal was to put it back where it originally came from.

I'm sure you can imagine the chaos that immediately ensued.
I don't think I ever flailed around so desperately in my life.

Here I would like to make a side note.. I have no idea why we (meaning the majority), face an unexpected horror, and our first reaction is to immediately start flailing around like mad. I mean, it does no good. It serves absolutely no purpose in protecting oneself. Rather, in this instance, it only served to make a larger mess than it likely otherwise would have.

And once everything was all over, the damage good and done, there I was left in utter shock, a total mess, and realized that not only had my daughter likely been plotting how to nail me at some unexpected moment (probably while pretending to nap in her swing), but also that ultimately, at the end of the day, I had fallen victim to a very dreadful projectile ninja poopie attack.

Time for a little change.

I'm sure it comes as no big surprise when I say this, but I have not updated this blog in months. For this reason, I have decided that it will be undergoing a bit of a change. The first of these comes by way of a new title, as can be noted above. Soon I will also be updating and changing the profile and picture. But I also want to make note that the content of the blog will likely change a great deal as well. This can largely be contributed by way of thanks to another blogger named Allie, artist and author extraordinaire, who is most famously known for her rather hilarious (and fairly entertaining) thinking and experiences portrayed on her page Hyperbole and a Half. Through reading through her postings, I have in turn noticed just how many moments in my own life are filled with hilarity, at least to enough of a degree that I find them worth posting here for you all to read. However, I must admit that while some moments may be hilarious to myself, they may not be so much to someone else (I have a rather bad habit of giving some experiences far too much credit on the laugh-gauge). For this reason, I make this warning...

Read with caution. :]