Cone Head

Okay, so I know it's been for-freaking-ever since I posted a blog on here. But I'm pretty sure no one reads this anyways so it's okay. But if you do read this then rock on! You have my love.

My life has been fairly boring when it comes to comedic life happenings, so I haven't really had much to add. Over all though, various life changes have happened. Alexis turned three, Ariana is now nine months, and hubby returned from deployment. We have also, as of two days ago, acquired a new cat. But if you tell our apartment complex on us I will cut you. With dull paper. Repeatedly. The way I see it, they can take it out of the rent they jacked up on us.

Side note: I would like to say that $1000 is too much to pay for a two bedroom in this state. Each time I think about it, I imagine them taking wallets, beating them with a led pipe, and then violating them repeatedly in a back alley. Without the courtesy to make sure they are at least unconscious first.

Now that that's out of the way, I'll continue to the mildly funny happenings of late.

Any smart (or at least reasonably average) pet owner knows that the first thing you do when you own a cat, especially a female that will be going into heat and start pissing on every important article of clothing you leave laying around, is to get them fixed. This was promptly done the day after acquiring said cat. The fixing, not the pissing.

She was returned to us as of this afternoon and the results have been entertaining to say the least. After all, there is nothing I enjoy more than a cat with a satalite dish around their head trying to walk around while repeatedly walking into things. And when I say walking into things, I mean the device would catch on something, from which she would immediately reverse directly backwards, and then try again with the same results. She has yet to figure out that backing up will not remove the offending object from her path. It brings to mind someone trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. Repeatedly. Maybe even banging it harder and harder each time in an attempt to make it work and yet receiving the same results.

She does of course eventually figure it out, in which case she promptly does the same thing with a different object only a few feet into her progress.

I will say this much though. This cat is fucking smart in some respects. While the dish presents some major difficulties, she has figured out how to use it to her advantage. For one, she has learned that she can use it as a scoop to corner food and effectively lift it to her mouth for easy access. In addition to this, she has learned that it makes her look drastically larger, and likely much like a creature from another planet when it comes to addressing our other two cats, who needless to say have been none too happy with her taking residence with us. In fact, she has effectively scared one of the other cats with her current appearance to the point that he flipped out and preceded to fight his way out the bedroom door, despite my being in the process of closing it which effectively resulted in it being closed ON him.

But the scariness was apparently worth the bruised kidney.

It came like a NINJA!

That's right... it came like a freaking NINJA! Here I was, all unsuspecting, minding my own business and doing my thing, and BAM!

But to truly understand, let me set the scene for you.

Your in-laws have gone out on this beautiful fall day to have lunch with a friend. You have laid one child down for a rest just to have your newborn wake up demanding sustenance. No biggie, you've been anticipating this. So you give her a bottle (freshly pumped and waiting) and before she can manage to pass back out, you lay her in your lap for a change in the hopes of placating her for long enough to snag some much needed rest.


This is when it strikes.

So there I was, having just got her diaper undone and reaching for the butt paste when I notice that she looks as if she may piddle again. Rather than put her diaper completely back on, I prepare for the moment. I hold the front of the diaper up at a 90 degree angle, entirely ready to catch anything that comes.

Or so I thought.
No. I was not going to be lucky enough... nor would I be prepared for the attack I was about to receive.

It came like the wind. Sudden. Silent. No warning what-so-ever. And even if there had been warning, there is simply no way to truly prepare oneself. And then THERE IT WAS!

Only one word can describe it...... projectile.
Yes, I said it. And I mean it. Had nothing been in the way, I'm sure it would have gone at least a good two feet. But I did say I was holding the diaper up, right? So one would think I would walk away from this little attack relatively unscathed. But no.

No, instead it went Ninja on me. And when I say Ninja, I mean it went crouching tiger, hidden dragon.
Even with the diaper posed to serve as a rather impenetrable wall, it somehow managed to sneak-vault OVER the top of the diaper, before dropping into an angle that would otherwise defy the laws of physics to make an entirely horizontal shot at my chest. It was like I was a target, and the goal was to put it back where it originally came from.

I'm sure you can imagine the chaos that immediately ensued.
I don't think I ever flailed around so desperately in my life.

Here I would like to make a side note.. I have no idea why we (meaning the majority), face an unexpected horror, and our first reaction is to immediately start flailing around like mad. I mean, it does no good. It serves absolutely no purpose in protecting oneself. Rather, in this instance, it only served to make a larger mess than it likely otherwise would have.

And once everything was all over, the damage good and done, there I was left in utter shock, a total mess, and realized that not only had my daughter likely been plotting how to nail me at some unexpected moment (probably while pretending to nap in her swing), but also that ultimately, at the end of the day, I had fallen victim to a very dreadful projectile ninja poopie attack.

Time for a little change.

I'm sure it comes as no big surprise when I say this, but I have not updated this blog in months. For this reason, I have decided that it will be undergoing a bit of a change. The first of these comes by way of a new title, as can be noted above. Soon I will also be updating and changing the profile and picture. But I also want to make note that the content of the blog will likely change a great deal as well. This can largely be contributed by way of thanks to another blogger named Allie, artist and author extraordinaire, who is most famously known for her rather hilarious (and fairly entertaining) thinking and experiences portrayed on her page Hyperbole and a Half. Through reading through her postings, I have in turn noticed just how many moments in my own life are filled with hilarity, at least to enough of a degree that I find them worth posting here for you all to read. However, I must admit that while some moments may be hilarious to myself, they may not be so much to someone else (I have a rather bad habit of giving some experiences far too much credit on the laugh-gauge). For this reason, I make this warning...

Read with caution. :]

Baby Bump Bump Pow!

So yeah... I haven't really posted in a while. So much has happened the past few weeks and I'm honestly not sure where to start, but at the same time, all this craziness hasn't had me looking forward to writing it all out. Hench why I'm just now getting around to this blog again.

Long story short... Randy deployed again. Part of me has yet to hit my breakdown for it, where the reality comes crashing down around me and I want to curl up with a tub of Ice Cream and ball my eyes out, but it's still been hard trying to cope with the reality that I'm on my own from this point on. Luckily, my friend Brittney has been staying here as her and her fiance wait for their apartment to open up, and the company has been a bit of a help, but now I'm kind of wondering what its going to be like when its just me and Alexis here. Where I won't have someone to talk to as a means to take my mind off things.

So I think I'm going to drown myself in extra things to do. I have a few things in mind. From knitting to making jewelry, I'm at the point where I'm looking at anything that can occupy me for a while.

On the brighter side of things, it looks like we're having another girl. Yeah, we were hoping for a boy, because it would be nice to have one of each, but I'm very content either way. I still have almost everything from when Alexis was born.. clothes, bedding, bottles, etc. So it's mostly the big stuff I'm going to need such as another crib, a baby swing, and maybe a few smaller thing like more burp/swaddling blankets. But before I dive into buying some of this stuff, as I'm tempted to go with baby specific colors this time around, I want to make darn sure that a girl is what it really is. So I'll be checking this week at my next ultrasound.


Well, that's all I pretty much have for now. *Peace!

Late Night Update

Yes, it's rather late (almost 1am here) but I realized I was due for an update. I suppose to start with, I got some bitter/sweet news this week... Randy deploys again in July. It sucks horribly because I get to go through this pregnancy and birth alone, but at the same time it will greatly help us financially. I'm just really not looking forward on dealing with two kids, and living on the third floor. It's so not going to be fun trying to get them upstairs and then running the marathon to get things upstairs like groceries. Not looking forward to the single mom bit! Or having to run up and down the stairs to get the trash out... or even having to go to the store (juggling Alexis, Bugga-bug, purse, diaper bag, etc...). I better damn well be in good shape after all this once Randy gets back next summer!

On another note, I'm 13 weeks today. According to the hospital, I am now in the second trimester. Though I have to admit it's a bit confusing when all the sites online can't agree on when the second trimester starts. Grr. So whatever, I'll go by what the hospital says. I also plan to get the intelligender test this weekend, as well as order some bioflex belly rings for my growing belly. Im thinking I'm going to order these two:

http://www.shop.bellybuttonringsandthings.com/Swarovski-Crystal-Butterfly-Maternity-Belly-Button-Ring-Montana-btflymontanam.htm

http://www.shop.bellybuttonringsandthings.com/Crystal-Explosion-Purple-Heart-Flexible-Belly-Ring-MN0167.htm

Some other fun news, Alexis turned 2 yesterday! OMG how time flys! And Randy's parents are going to be here in the morning. They are considering getting Alexis a TV as a present. It would be helpful so she can watch her cartoons while she plays without taking over the living room TV. I think it's extremely sweet of them. No telling how long it would be for us to get her one. They are getting fairly pricey. Dx

But, suppose I better get to bed. There's a LOT to do this weekend.

Getting Settled ~ 12 Weeks

So it's been a busy, busy, BUSY week. We packed up and left to spend our first night in Savannah Thursday. And yes, while our address says Pooler, which is right outside of Savannah, I had to laugh as we crossed the Savannah city limits right before turning into the apartments. But we got in and were rightfully bored out of our minds for the evening. No TV, no internet, nothing. At least I got to break in that heavenly tub! I've never sat in one so big and it was the highlight of my day. <3

So yesterday the guy came to hook up our internet. Too bad we couldn't get wireless to work. Of course, after all day of trying to figure out what was wrong with it, we discovered we were using our OLD router.. that while looking the same as our new one, is pretty much obsolete. The movers also brought all our stuff! Looks like its going to be a busy few days of unpacking. We got some of the stuff situated, but there are still many more boxes to go. At least we have Alexis' room out of the way.

Speaking of Alexis, we converted her crib into a toddler bed last night! It doesn't have a railing, so I was worried about her rolling off, but she did just fine. : D

So on to the pregnancy... I'm 12 weeks today (yay!), so I'm super excited to be going into my second trimester next week. The only thing that sucks is I have still yet to get my doctors appointment. I tried to call and set it up for this week, because I was told I HAD to have it by 12 weeks, but apparently Randy has to set up our tri-care all over again. While he will get to do that sometime this week, there's no telling when I'll be able to get my appointment booked for. I'll just be happy to hear that heart beat and see Bugga-bug for the first time.

But anywho, that's pretty much it. Will update again soon!

Glad To Be Home!

So I am finally back in my home of homes... Leesburg Georgia. It was a crazy weekend in terms of getting here. I left out early Saturday morning from Colorado Springs. The flight was supposed to leave at 9:13am but of course our plane was late. On top of that, the flight was borded and just sitting there for about half an hour. So we ended up not even taking off until around 9:45. Now, I've been on flights that left late before, and its generally not a problem. Except when the flight itself is only 15-20 min and you need to hall ass to catch your connecting flight once you land. So we're half way to denver when we get word that one of the connecting flights is getting ready to leave. And guess which flight it is? Yep! Atlanta. So we land and everyone trying to catch this flight along with me is in a mad dash to grab belongings and make a run for it. Too bad none of us even touch the pavement before we find out it's left. With both the flight to Denver and the one to Atlanta being under the same carrier, you would think they would call ahead and hold it for ten freaking minutes. Of course not...

So I and everyone else is hauling ass to reach the other end of the terminal where the carrier's information desk is, and with a toddler, a backpack, a heavy diaper bag, and a stroller, that's not an easy accomplishment.  But I did it, and get there to find out that (thank god) someone thought ahead to switch us all from the Frontier flight to one heading to Atlanta through Air Tran. Too bad the gate for that flight was all the way back on the OTHER end of the terminal where we had landed... So after the long trek back to get my seat assignment and finding out I had two hours to kill, I make yet another trip to the middle of the terminal to the food court. With food in hand and not a table in sight, I once again had to go all the way back to the gate to sit down and eat. I swear.. after jugging Alexis and all our stuff for this entire time, I felt like freaking superwoman.

So we finally get on the flight and thank my luck I get a whole three seats to myself and Alexis. It was a long flight, but at least Alexis didn't have to sit in my lap the entire time.

I finally met up with Randy's parents and we made the looooooong drive home. I've been here at their house ever since, and I've been kind of thankful I haven't really had anything to stress over except school. Of course, school was uber fun all on it's own.

Not only did I have several assignments due Sunday that I had yet to touch, but also a vocal presentation for my public speaking class. Too bad I have been hacking almost constantly and was loosing my voice. I can only thank god that I didn't cough the whole time I talked, even though my voice was on the verge of going out. But I got an A, so I was more than happy. And after getting my work turned in just shy of it's due time, I've finally been able to catch my breath.

But now I'm a little worried that Alexis may be getting sick. She had a bit of a fever tonight and has already had a run in with an aunt bed.. T.T So she hasn't been in the greatest of moods.

On a brighter note, the moving people are going to the house in Colorado tomorrow to pack and ship all our stuff. Then the carpet cleaners will be over Wed. and housing comes by to close out of the house on Thursday. If everything goes well, Randy should be hitting the road that day and be here probably late Friday evening. Just in time for a family reunion Saturday! :D

Well, that's been it. I may update some more in a few days.